- If one doesn’t push oneself, one never gets better at anything
- Pushing oneself requires risk
- Risk requires confidence, testosterone, non-analysis, or ‘fuck-it’
- Fear is the mind killer.
- Bass is surely the masseuse of the brain
- Twinkles, therefore, must be the acupuncturists.
- Physical pain hurts less than mental pain.
Cycling around Swansea down to the sea front to a car park
Find my old Metro which I’d left there before
Get in and start the engine, wanting to take it out for a drive - but I’m not insured over here
So I repark it facing the sea, but realise that something is wrong with it
Get out and see front left wheel is flat, and has caused the front of the car to dip and break off some insulating foam tubing…
Spend time trying to park neatly between the lines, but there’s the remnants of an old car park layout, which is confusing.
Another car pulls up across part of my space taking no regard of the lines.
They all get out but don’t take notice of how badly they’ve parked, I seem to know at least one of them.
Someone mentions the annual boat race - with all the random boats made of weird things.
The rest of the festival is active in the distance: there are large rocks that look like cliffs floating above the festival, marking its location.
Toward the lighthouse, the hill is churning out black smoke - apparently another part of the festival.
I want to go to the festival so I get back on my bike… I cant work out why but there’s some reason I can’t make it in time - things are happening too quickly?
Weird.
So, I’m off then.
Thanks to everyone who donated to my funds! It’s finally happening!
See you all in May.
Steve.
So i have finally taken the plunge and dreaded up my hair.
As i type, i am gently waxing my keyboard as my fingers are pretty waxxy and there isnt much i can do about it!
A couple of pics, before and after:
and 8 hours, a lot of backcoming, a few yelps and half a tub of wax later…
they need time to settle yet but hey! i got a month before i go to the jungle :-S OMG!
GIMBO! Your turn next 
Antony Lewis of the Jersey Evening Post decided to try and knock off the crap that inevitably fills the Christmas music charts by releasing his own song… Apparently he has 500 copies at the local HMV, but no producers are (strangely) picking up on it… Anyway, he has got the music video on YouTube and its quite cool, and kinda funny too.
It does carry a message with it and its one I think we can all slightly relate to in some way- even if you disagree with it.
So here it is, the video for Hug A Muslim.
I’m feeling intensely frustrated.
I dont really know why. I’ve just had a week doing anything I want — having not been at work I have been lazing about, excercising (yes not at the same time), eating well, listening to tunes, meeting friends and buying stuff for my trek.
So why do i feel so frustrated? Maybe its because tonight I havent really done anything - Mikey has gone to London, Pat is god knows where, and Rich is beng idle. Fine, so I should make the most of this time to do something worthwhile right? Or I should at least be enjoying myself? No, instead I’ve been listening to a couple of songs repeatedly, chatting a little on the internet and reading teh newspaper. And watching some mind numbingly dull tv - WHY?! What is the point??
Not just that, but I keep reading about all these things that are wrong with our world - in 50 years there wont be enough wild fish left to catch and eat - we are extincting them because we like them (that makes no sense?!! why?!), in 30(?) years there will be no oil, or rather there will be so little what is left will be usable only by rich people (who of course, being rich probably don’t deserve it - ouch, that is a rash comment but i think its one we can all agree on to a point, unless you are rich and reading this… if you are… tell me why you deserve to be rich please - and if that includes pissing on the little guy to get to where you are, tell me that too.), electricity, which is fairly dependant on the oil industry will be lacking somewhat (ok so we can do without but … psh…), the sea levels will be so high that half of my beautiful little island will become a great diving site… and there is nothing we can do…
At work I’ve been helping with a few ideas to make our office ‘greener’- the plan is to reduce paper consumption and electricity and so on. Being the only local newspaper i suggested that they make it a campaign to get the whole island on board. Yes great! But there are so many hurdles and so much apathy… I actually read an article by one of the reporters based in london who says that she simply isnt scared enough to bother to try and be greener. Its SO frustrating. I try and make a conscious effort to be greener, and its difficult, i have to say, being that i am a geek and depend heavily on machinery that uses not only electricity to run it, but also lots of evil chemicals and plastics to create said machinery. I do try though. I’m going to Belize to help save the rainforest, which is great but I’m going on a plane which is burning oil/fuel whatever, so…? and it just doesnt seem like enough. I really want our society to take a step back, literally, and depend more on what we have not what we want. WHY do we need to ship over food from elsewhere? It probably doesnt even taste any better beign grown in a warmenr climate or whatever because its picked early so that its ripe on arrival. that defeats teh point doesnt it?
And another thing - people in jersey are generally unhappy with the way our government is run. this seems to be tru of any given group of people in a democracy havign a group leading them. It seems that dictatorships actually seem to make people happier (ok this is a little heavy but n. korea? they are all singing all dancing folk… they are pretty oblivious to the fact that they are living less well than their neighbours and so they are happy, right? saddam hussein was obviously doing SOMETHING right otherwise the iraquis would not now be so pissed off with us trying to ‘help’ them?) thats a slight tangent but my point is - why the chuff do we vote for people we know are going to be complete bunch of turds in the first place? why cant we just put out a letter that says ‘right folks, the government is a shit, so if you believe we need this this and this doing then send your name and address in. bonuses are around 100k a year and you get to wear a nice suit and ponce about at fancy dinners’ - bang, you have your group of happy leaders reaping he benefits of the current turds in power, whilst actually having some sort of moral sense with which to please the people and ‘do the right thing’. No doubt we would find something to complain about, but its gotta be worth a try? (read the above as ‘fresh start’ or ‘revolution’ i think?)
*Sigh*
what else? Why can i not see my friends as much as i want to? because im on a rock. why cant i convince my self that i dont need to find someone to love, in order that this someone will then find me (apparently this is how it works - you have to not want the someone then they come along… yeah right). why is it that after 21 years i still havent found this person i’m not supposed to be looking for? or even someone who i think is them and they think im their person who you arent supposed to find easily, but then they turn out not to be the person you werent supposed to find anyway. surely that would be better than being prepared for this someone and having so much … just… desire to give .. than… not finding anyone….. what? what?!! what i mean is - why is Love laughing at me?
why can i not be bothered to better myself and focus on the things i want to be better at? I want to be more musical - Ell’s room has been empty with a drum kit in it for the better part of 2 months now and have i made use of this freedom? once. pitiful. I also spent 700 quid on decks. I have some vinyl that i love. how often do i sit here idly readingnews sites or listening to random tunes that i can listen to whenever or have listened to millions of times, instead of putting on my headphones and trying to better my mixing skills (or rather, get some mixing skills) - especially after playing back a recorded attempt at a set and realising i have a lot of work to do.
why am i sitting here writing all this in the vain hope that someone of some sort of importance might read it and give me the definitive answer, when i know all that is going to happen is that some friends (and yes, they are the most important people) might read it and agree or disagree, but for the most part some other people might read some of it and dismiss the rest as nonsense. why do i care? why do i care that i have just wasted a good half hour wondering why i care? why do i not just not give a damn and get on with life instead of worrying about such ridiculously un controllable factors of life? isnt that what the majority of other people are doing anyway? if i was that bothered wouldnt i be going on a demonstration for greener britain or voting for better people or just voting at all, or working harder and more so i could have the money to do more things like go and see my friends or buy a house and settle down or whatever it might be that im supposed to be doing?
and if im so certain that i want to be doing a doctorate in computer science then why arent i reading journals and thinking up world changing ideas and trying to brush up my programming skills? and if i dont really want to be doing that then what the hell do i want to be doing? i certainly dont want to be in a 9 til 5 whiling away my life; but then thats the easy option and to be honest im lazy so why dont i want to do this? get a job, get a house, get married, have kids and so on? why am i making my life harder by doing things that are ‘difficult’? and ARE they really more difficult or am i just not clever/brave/strong/confident enough to take them on with ease? and why SHOULD i just get a job? thats surely not what life is about anyway? sure back in the day we had to work to stay alive by farming and foraging and so on - but you cant call that a job, thats LIFE and LIVING. its being in touch with the planet and nature and the outside. we are so far removed from all that that it doesnt seem nescessary to be part of what we are - a 9 til 5 isnt living, but thats all we’re left with isnt it? well no, you can go and find something different and make a difference doing it - i could become a farmer and that would be that wouldnt it? if i was just farming for myself and my family. or maybe a dj then i could make a living making people happy with music? so why arent i practising harder?
i
dont
understand.
all of my questions and conclusions are either circular, hypocritical or absurd. i feel totally lost.
and i blame the curry.
*sigh*
Its all go at the JEP at the moment.
In the past couple of weeks we’ve had stories of pony doping, divers ‘lost‘ at sea, breakages, coding and lots more besides.
One of our server machines (a Sun box which handles an archive system) controls/acts upon two storage devices (Network Attached Storage - NAS) one in Jersey and one in Guernsey. I noticed as I was doing the backup tapes a little while ago that the NAS box was beeping and there was a fan alert. ITEX were called in…
So the other day when the pony doping story hit the press, ITEX came to investigate the NAS box and we discovered that the CPU fan was spinning irregularly and intermittently. Seemingly the control circuit or the feedback sensor was dead and this caused it to go squiffy (technical terms here folks…).
Having pulled this box’s guts out and returned to my desk, one of the editors rushed over and asked me to get a page from the archive as a matter of urgency as the Daily Mail (owned by the same folk as the JEP) had picked up on the pony doping shenannigans… a-hahaha…
Fortunately the lovely people at Picdar (who run the archive system) were able to point our archive at Guernsey’s NAS (As they are just mirrors of each other) and all was well!
What relevance that has to anyhting I am unsure, but I’ve learnt some stuff and feel more confident for having to deal with that situation (successfully I might add).
The IT Helpdesk that I have been developing is coming along well. The code is a little messy but it all works rather well, features/setup includes:
Its all fairly basic, but I’m pleased that it does what I intended and even more so that a lot of the staff are using it as it was intended. It allows us to better keep track of whats going on and inform each other (at the moment a lot of jobs are email based and only end up in one technicians inbox…). There are a couple of features i want to add but am not yet sure how:
Hmm a few things to keep me busy.
Here’s a little game I thought up a while ago… probably blogged it already. Oh well.
Take one iTunes Library
Take one iTunes searchbox
Take one random 3 letter string
Mix the 3 letter string into the searchbox well.
Leave to cool for a few seconds, allowing the library to settle down to a small yet highly delicious size.
Serve up with a Play button.
Potentially serves an entire club.
Enjoy the randomness that ensues.
$Elvis = “The thorn”;
$building = “my foot”
yes I know its sad, pipe down.
Sorry if you are a real person ‘davidfe’ but I am a skeptic.
A new comment on the post #213 "Hairbeads" is waiting for your approval http://blog.synfinity.net/?p=213 Author : davisfe (IP: 154.35.47.59 , tor-proxy.carnabyhosts.co.uk) E-mail : URI : http://davisfe.used-golf-balls.info/archives/Hairbeads.php Whois : http://ws.arin.net/cgi-bin/whois.pl?queryinput=154.35.47.59 Comment: Hairbeads... nice.....
mm hmm… so I follow the link and theres a ‘blog’ with 2 posts, my hairbeads one and an asian looking one…
Wtf? The Technorati link doesnt do an awful lot except tell you that it isnt a Technorati enabled blog, and if you go to the root URL (take off davidfe.) then you get more of the same…
Whats the point in this?
Very odd.
edit:
A new comment on the post #215 "wtf?" is waiting for your approval http://blog.synfinity.net/?p=215 Author : dschriverbak (IP: 149.9.0.21 , 149.9.0.21) E-mail : URI : http://dschriverbak.pre-engineered-metal-buildings.info/archives/wtf3F.php Whois : http://ws.arin.net/cgi-bin/whois.pl?queryinput=149.9.0.21 Comment: wtf?... nice.....
ARghhg?! MOG!
I found some beads.
I put them in my hair.
Hairbeads.
OH MY GOD… I ROTATED THIS IMAGE… like 5 times! No, i don’t mean the same image 5 times, I meant I have done this 5 times and it still uploads the wrong way round! Why?! I blame exif data and wordpress trying to be clever. Grr.
Well anyway, you get the idea - there are 3 beads there in my hair. and some others further up. yay for hairbeads.
That is all.